STRESS AND YOU CHILDREN

STRESS ALERT

Many adults tend to view the world of children as being happy and care­free. As a result, they often dismiss problems presented by their children. But what parents do not realize is that even though children are not fending for the family, they too, are over­whelmed by the unending demands to adapt to an ever-changing environment.

Although stress is a part of life as children develop, when it becomes too much it under­mines their physical and psychological health. Problems begin when ordinary stress increases and lead to distress. Stress has also been described as the "rate of wear and tear" on the body.

Uncontrolled stress has been associated with asthmatic attacks, high fever, migraine, headache, gastrointestinal illnesses and pep­tic ulcers. It is believed that under intense stress, an individual's general resistance to disease declines. In addition, intense stress has adverse effects on their emotional, social, intellectual and academic well-being of chil­dren. It interferes with their motivation, attention, perception, memory and, conse­quently, mars the entire learning process.

Research has suggested that too much stress early in life may increase the risk of drug abuse and suicide during adolescence. It is, therefore, unfortunate that children are increasingly becoming overly stressed from an early age.

Many parents, oblivious of the amount of stress they subject their children to or the consequences that follow, expect their chil­dren to grow up fast. They often have certain expectations of their children and pressurize them to live up to them.

Under the impression that they are doing the best for their children, parents go the extent of putting too much pressure to succeed and as a result, the spirit of competition has been over-glorified.

Some of the major areas of concern include taking children to school for the first time too early, making them go through rites of passage when they are still too young, vio­lence at home, emphasis on good perform­ance in school and peer pressure.

Scholars have also argued that family life for many children has become less stable and less predictable and this has increased their fear of being unloved. Intense stress can be caused by any significant changes in the family, especially death, divorce or hospitalization. Stress can also be caused by family transitions, which might be perceived as pos­itive. These include re-marriage, a new baby or moving to a new home or school.

The effects of a stressful situation depend on a child's maturity, personality and ability to cope. Children often have difficulty describing exactly how they feel and when stressed they may resort to crying and becoming aggressive, rude or irritable. Some children, feeling overwhelmed by stress, may portray positive behaviour but at the same time become timid, nervous or pan­icky.

Other sources of stress that arc common among children, irrespective of their age, include:

1.  Inadequate basic resources like food, clothing, or shelterv Natural disasters or community violence
2.  Poor sleeping habits leading to lack of enough sleep
3.  Inappropriate expectations and fear of failure
4.  Injuries or severe illness
5.  Lack of friends
6.  Pressure to achieve in school, whether socially and academically leading to

 mood swings, avoidance of certain activities, isolation, rejection of school or changes in the quality of schoolwork.

Extensive stress also causes sleeping diffi­culties, which include sleep walking and fre­quent nightmares. A child may even express physical complaints such as headache, stom­achache and nausea. Often, children indulge in behaviour such as bed-wetting and thumb-sucking.

If ignored, stress could lead to problems in school and in the child's attitude towards life. All parents should be aware that children need assistance in order to cope with life's demands. In addition, parents have a respon­sibility to teach their children how to manage challenges.

 The following tips could be help­ful:

1] Be there for your child. Spend time talk­ing and let the child know that he or she is important to you.

2]  Talk about stressful events and everyday events with your child. Be a good listener and give your child a chance to express his feelings.

3]  Put as much order in your child's life as possible, for instance, by providing a place to study and setting aside specific times for school work and leisure time.

4]  Help your child build supportive friend­ships. Encourage her or him to invite friends over. Also encourage trusted family friendships and relationships with extended family members. Children often respond to guidance and reassurance from trusted adults other than parents.

5]Monitor and restrict television, movies, and computer use — they may make a child desire to live in a fantasy world and become frustrated when faced with real life chal­lenges.

6]  Be a good role model. It is believed that children's stress-coping responses are learnt early in life through observation. Parents must deliberately improve their own level of organization and avoid being perceived by their children as being always rushed and harassed.

7] Any attempt to raise children in a stress-free world would be futile. Children will trip and fall at limes, but they should be taught how to pick themselves up, find opportuni­ties when they encounter problems and use Stumbling blocks as stepping stones.