IMPROVING RELATIONSHIP SKILLS.

QUALITIES THAT COUNT

Today, relationships are challenged in many ways. Busy schedules and a changing world can make good relationships difficult to maintain. You can make them work. By showing you care, empathizing with others, cooperating, being accepting, and keeping your sense of humor you will have the qualities that are key to maintaining good relationships.

SHOW YOU CARE

First you must learn to care about others. Then you must show it. When people become too focused on themselves, they are viewed as self-centered. What do you think would happen in a society where most people thought only of themselves?

When you reach out to others and show that you care, it gives people a good impression of you. Reaching out to others also gives you a good feeling about yourself.

 List of ways to show people that you care.

• Point out their special qualities with sincerity.
• Give sincere praise whenever you can.
• Use people’s names when you talk to them.
• Encourage people to talk about themselves by asking questions and listening. Include subjects that are of interest to others in your conversations.
• Do a favor when possible.

HAVE EMPATHY

Empathy is the ability to understand what someone else is experiencing. You empathize by putting yourself in another’s place and trying to see things from their point of view.

Empathy helps forms good relationships because it prevents many misunderstandings. When Rose had very little to say to Frank, he could have easily been offended. Instead he thought about how she was feeling after his parents’ divorce and understood her actions. Empathy allowed him to be sensitive to her needs.

COOPERATE

Cooperation is working together with others for the good of all. Another name for cooperation is teamwork. A group of junior high students were asked to make a video that showed a scene from a famous writer  the six students forgot props, failed to learn their lines, and constantly distracted the group from the project. As a result, the video was not what the rest had hoped it would be. By not cooperating, the two troublesome students damaged their relationships with the others.

To improve your cooperation skills, they these ideas:

• Do your share. Focus on the goal and participate in reaching it.
• Be agreeable. Some tasks are not fun but they must be done.
• Be willing to use another’s ideas or plan. Express your own ideas, but realize that yours won’t always be selected.

No matter where you go in life you will find many people who are different from you. In fact, most people in the world are different from you in one way or another. That does not make them inferior or wrong. A difference is refreshing. You can also learn from them. Differences should be a reason for appreciating others, not rejecting them

STEREOTYPES

Until recently, Jared believed that all homeless people were lazy. He felt that they were homeless simply because they refused to get a job.  Jared had stereotyped the homeless. A stereotype is a belief that an entire group of people fit a fixed, common pattern – that they are all a like in certain ways. When Chuck stereotyped all homeless people, he didn’t see them as individuals; he saw them as a group who all shared the same characteristic of being lazy and not wanting to work.

After joining a volunteer program that provided help for the homeless, Jared stereotype of the homeless began to change. He met a homeless family whose small house had burned to the ground. The single mother had a part-time job, but it didn’t pay enough for housing. There was no low-income housing in the community that she could afford. As he heard about this family’ situation and other similar situations, Jared began to question his thinking. He was learning to look at people as individuals rather than using stereotypes.

PREJUDICE

Stereotypes often lead to prejudice. When people use differences to dislike or hurt others, they are showing prejudice. Prejudice is an unfair or biased opinion. Often it is a judgment against a person or a group formed without knowing the facts or by ignoring the facts. For example, prejudice may be directed against people because their race, religion, or gender (male or female). Age and disabilities are also sometimes used as a basis for prejudice.

The sad thing about prejudice is that it causes people to distrust and hate without just cause. Some people even act on that hate. How do you want to be treated? No doubt, you want others to look beyond what they see and discover who you are inside as an individual person. That is exactly what you must so when you relate to others.

KEEP A SENCE OF HUMOR

Relationships are more like to thrive when people find humor around them. Sometimes you may have to make an effort to find it.

When Tama accidentally dropped Damaris purse through a sidewalk grate, the two spent an hour retrieving it. Instead of feeling angry, Damaris laughed about how the pause got their in the first place and about the things they had to do to get it back. Damaris had an amusing story to tell  others, and her relationship with Tama stayed as strong as ever.