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As we grow older, our sex life cycles morph. The change might be gradual or sudden, but how much do you know about your cycle? Here's what to expect at certain stages of your life.
SEXY 30s
Women: Unlike your 20s, you'll have fewer partners: you'll either be in a stable relationship, engaged or married. Also, unlike your 20s where you were experimenting and sucking face with just about anyone who looked your way, by now you know what you want in bed; what gets your motor going and what doesn't. Sex becomes more about quality and not quantity. For most women in their 30s, the end goal is getting pregnant. You learn to have sex even when you're tired because you do not want that ovulation window not to pass you by.
Men: In your 30s, a few things happen;
1. You're not as flexible as you used to be, so some gymnastic moves in the bed-room will have to go.
2. Most men will have a stable nine to five jobs which don't require a lot of motion. Being immobile for long hours will reflect in your performance in the bedroom too, so hit the gym to keep up your stamina, which peaks at 31 or 32.
3. Food pressure and cholesterol counts rise as your body slows down the process of drawing oxygen from your blood. This means that you start losing some strength.
4. In your thirties, you'll notice that your penis isn't as erect as it used to be, so you'll require direct stimulation to get things going.
EXCITING 40S
Women: You have the confidence to ask for what you want during sex at this stage -- no more waiting for your partner to pick up signals. This is the pre-menopausal period and most women would like to go out with a bang. Call it the last hurrah, even though menopause isn't the evil doom that it was taken for back in the day. A doctor might prescribe some measure of birth control to balance out your hormones and prevent unwanted pregnancies. By this stage, you've been there and done it, therefore, sex is as much about giving your partner as much pleasure as you're also aiming to get. No more perfunctory sex.
Men:
1. Your testosterone levels decrease by one per cent for every year after you hit 40.
2. Your erection becomes less reliable. You'll require direct stimulation just to get an erection.
3. With decreasing hormone levels, you'll need to do a little more work to get into it, like increased sensual pleasure.
4. You'll also notice that the angle of your erection might change.
5. Due to sexual confidence, you're more open to try some kink. This is the time that you'll probably have the best sex of your life. You're more open to trying out role play with your partner.
6. Start paying attention to your tart's health as it is the key to a reliving sex life. Keep up with your cardio and exercises that focus on strength training - you'll have more n in the sack. And looking better ways boosts one's confidence.
ENLIGHTENING 50s
Women: This is a time to nourish the female libido. It is the post-menopause stage so your hormones would have been oscillating for some time now. There's a drop in female desire due to lack of vaginal lubrication. You'll experience a decrease in testosterone levels and blood flow to your vaginal area. There are those whose interest in sex will increase after menopause, due, in part, to a shift in the ratio of testosterone to estrogen and progesterone. You don't lose your ability to orgasm as you age. In fact, many women find increased sexual pleasure after menopause, including more frequent or more intense orgasms.
FUN FACT
Porn-watching women more satisfied with their sex life. Porn has long been accused of getting between couples' sex lives. This might be because of the type of porn consumed, according to research that found men who watched more porn were less satisfied with their sex lives. But the opposite was true for women. Researchers suggest this could be because woman are more likely to watch porn with their partner, instead of alone; and men typically watch less consensual sex acts when watching alone. Another study found that those who watched porn with their partners reported feeling more dedicated and sexually satisfied in their relationship compared to those who watched it alone.
MEN
1. Physical and mental arousal becomes critical to getting an erection.
2. For some, ejaculating will take longer. Other men in their 50s realize that they don't have to ejaculate every time they have inter-course. Sexual satisfaction depends more on the quality of the relationship that you have with your partner. Your erection may not be as firm as it was in your 20s and 30s, but this doesn't mean that sex is no less pleasurable.
LUMBERING 60s
MEN: About 20 per cent of the male population in their 60s has tried erection medication. The drugs won't do anything for your libido, but they'll improve blood flow to your penis. At this stage, most men are with women around their age. The women have developed post-menopausal dryness. This coupled with vaginal tissue thinning, makes for uncomfortable intercourse for both partners. Hence, become creative and opt for other pleasures such as oral sex, genital hand massages, and toys. Your days of 'quickies' may be behind you at this stage. What came as easily as breathing may now require tact and more attention, but there's nothing wrong with going slowly. Sex becomes more about the journey and not the destination.
Women: The key here is to have an open mind. And, adjust your expectations. "Toss out the old scripts about what sex includes, how it looks, how long it takes, or whether one or more partners experiences orgasm," says American sexuality educator, Melanie Davis. Sex isn't like a packet of milk that has an expiry date. Women continue to have sex well into their 80s. What matters most at this stage is who you're with, not how young you are. When you were younger, intercourse might have been explosive, but at this stage, it is more like a slow burn. It's not about how many positions you can twist yourself into, but about sexual pleasure and the connection you have with your partner. our nightly sweats and hot flashes are most likely over, which is a good thing. Take care of your body with good nutrition and exercise to lift your libido.
EASY SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL PROBLEMS
THE PROBLEM: LOW SEX DRIVE
Meaning: This is when an individual loses all desire to be sexually active, or has an unusually low libido.
Cause: Research indicates that at least two-thirds of men who have low levels of testosterone and high levels of prolactin (a hormone responsible for breast milk production) in their bodies tend to lose interest in sex.
What can be done
Dietary and exercise changes, in particular limiting sugary fructose, saturated fats and engaging in high intensity exercises and strength training are effective in boosting testosterone levels. Other helpful strategies include stress reduction and vitamin D supplements.
THE PROBLEM: ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION
Meaning: This is a condition where a man is neither unable to have nor maintain an erection long enough to have satisfactory sexual intercourse. In some cases it could be that once the erection has been attained, it is subsequently lost during intercourse.
The cause. This could indicate an imbalance in thyroid hormone levels. These are the hormones that determine how fast processes occur in the body. it could also indicate that the body had high levels of prolactin, and low levels of testosterone.
What can be done?
Treatment for erectile dysfunction will depend primarily on the root cause and how serious the condition is. Options include prescribed oral medication, penile therapies involving direct injections into the urethra to increase blood flow and testosterone replacement therapies.
THE PROBLEM: MALE INFERTILITY
Medically speaking, a man is said to be infertile when he does not have any children after engaging in regular unprotected sexual intercourse for a period of one year. This condition is as a result of low sperm counts or low sperm quality.
Cause: Infertility may be a symptom of hormonal imbalance in men because several hormones are involved in sperm production. The University of Maryland Medical Centre outlines the process of fertility. It begins with the production of gonadotropin-releasing hormone in the hypothalamus. This hormone prompts the pituitary gland to release two other hormones known as the follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) and the luteinizing hormone (LH).
These two hormones are directly involved in sperm production since the follicle-stimulating hormone is responsible for maintaining sperm production while the luteinizing hormone ensures testosterone production. Therefore, a deficiency in gonadotropin-releasing hormones may result in low follicle-stimulating hormone and luteinizing hormone levels which can in turn lead to low or no sperm production.
THE PROBLEM: VAGINAL DRYNESS AND LOW LIBIDO
Testosterone is typically associated as a primarily male hormone, but both men and women have it. Low testosterone levels may cause low libido for women. In one study of more than 800 postmenopausal women reporting low sex drive, those who received 150 or 300 micrograms per day of testosterone in the form of a topical patch reported more sexual desire and more satisfying sexual experiences compared to women who took a placebo. Falling estrogen levels may lead to vaginal dryness. This makes the wall of the vagina thinner and makes it quite painful to have sex.
What you can do
A doctor may prescribe synthetic hormones or bio identical hormones to combat these and other symptoms related to menopause. You can also experiment with lube to combat dryness.